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Sunday, January 09, 2005
:: Lonely and missing liquid eyeliner...*cries*
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*looks around, paranoid* There is a theif out there...and that bastard stole my eyeliner!!! Grrrrrness. Whoever it is...should know better than to steal a Goth's eyeliner...especially if it's liquid eyeliner that cost around $6. >< Anyways...am very lonely these days. Everyone goes to public school but myself around here, so there is no one to really chat with anymore. Unless it's either Jenna, Lori, or Kimmy...but Kimmy is in Australia, meaning I have to be up at around 3 in the morning for a simple 'what's up?' Lori is usually on around 7 my time, so that's peachy, but Jenna is totally unpredictable about internet timing, lol. I hate not getting to talk to her much. I can never reach Jenna through any of her phones...I always get the answering machine. Her brother and parents are computer hogs, and even then, her computer is slow as shit and we can hardly get a word in to each other. That, and she's busy on there... Sometimes, I'm totally confused about me and Jenna's relationship. I love her to death, but I don't really know about her side of the story. She's said she loves me a few times, but then there's the issue of Jacob and Amanda that is still giving me problems. Robert hooked her up with Jacob, and now I don't know what their relationship is like now. I hate it when he's around...she told me that when Jacob comes around her house like he does and stuff, it makes her feel like she's cheating on me. -_-' Even though we're not techniqually going out (meaning neither one of us has asked the other out and had the other one say 'yes'), it feels like we are. We're intensely jealous people, lol. So I'm at a total loss at what to do or say here. -_-' I wanna get far away from Amanda and slit Jacob's throat...but then again, they're not really worth going to prison for. *sigh* Ah well...I'm sure something will present itself soon and I'll figure out a way to solve all of this...+ Shinigami updated @ Sunday, January 09, 2005
Saturday, January 08, 2005
:: *yawns*
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Eeeeeeeee!!! *giggle* Thanks for the new layout, Kimmy! *hugs* Yeah...was very depressed last night to the point where I couldn't sleep, so I popped myself on the internet and wrote in my diary. Woke up in the afternoon instead of 4 for a change and since my grandmother seemed to think that she was crippled, bugged the living hell out of me to take the X-mas tree down. -_-' When she takes it down herself, she thinks that she needs help putting it all in the box. A task my 5-year-old sister could do, lol. Of course, I was busy talking to Lori, and we all know how I hate to be interrupted while I'm trying to chat with someone. -_-' So irritating. But anyways...in my little chat with Lori, I found out something very interesting...heheheh. Of course, I honestly wish I would have known, but things came up...lot's of things. I guess things are revealed at an appropriate time that we don't always agree with. Well...*thinking* I'm in some serious physically pain...some wierd cramps in my stomach and they're totally killing me. -_-' *yawns* Let's see...oh yeah...something really interesting happened last night. I decided to go downstairs and my sister Tori was having trouble getting Toby back inside, so I ran out there in my mom's boxers and a tank top (in 40 degree weather) and found some cop cars and an ambulance in front of our house. I later find out that there was a fight with this little tramp named Alexis. She used to live next to me and whenever I would walk home, she would run up to me and call me a whore. -_-' I've been tempted to slit the little bitches' throat, but something possessed me to let her live. Well...I'm going to bed...Kimmy just pointed out that I had my birthdate as 6.19.1987 and that would make me 7 years old...so I should change that...heheheheh... + Shinigami updated @ Saturday, January 08, 2005
Friday, January 07, 2005
:: Random depression spells...
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...*yawn* Bleh, 1:57 in the fucking morning and I can't sleep...what a surprise. Lately, my life has been consisting of waking up at 4 in the evening (I kid you not), and lingering downstairs like a ghost until someone notices me and starts bitching about my unusual sleeping habits. Truthfully, I'm not sick like they all seem to think I am. Well, at least not physically ill, anyways. I've figured out what's wrong with me, at least. I'm seriously depressed...I know, the word depression is often over-used, but it is the only word I can really think of at this point to describe what's going on. Right now, I just need a change of pace...I'm thinking of getting myself enrolled back into Shoemaker (as much as I despise getting up early in the morning and assholes for teachers) I desperately need to get out more. As much as I love my little dark room, the more I linger in it, the more I feel I'm dying. I don't know why I'm depressed, but I just know I am. Maybe it's because I thought I had put some shit behind me completely but it's still there...right now, I'm seriously on the verge of crying. I don't know why I'm still living...I discovered one of my dad's new razors that he had tried to hide...it's up in the china-cabnet...I've been tempted so many times this week to end it all, but I can't. It's not because I'm scared. It's because I don't want to die unless I know what it is that's pulling me down like this. I feel like I'm missing something, and so I'm seriously considering going back to public school. I mean, I thought I could do it, but I can't...home-schooling myself, I mean. I just lack concentration and motivation...maybe a stupid bitch with a teaching degree can help me out there. Probably only half of my friends will be there (because most of them graduated and/or moved), so yeah...if I do go back, I hope no one remembers me. I also need to get a job and get on some sort of anti-depressant. Either that, or get out more. I would like to be a little more social, but I don't think that'll work out very well. Because people, in general, are very stupid. -_-' And annoying...irritating...grrrr. Ah, now I'm getting tired...this happens when I decide that I can't sleep and need to talk but no one's on the internet to spill my guts out to...*sigh* But I'll have to give that thought some more serious thinking to back it up...going back to school, I mean. I need out of this room (it's like a fucking cage), but at the same time, I dread the litteraly thousands of stupid, ignorant teenagers surrounding me every day. -_-' These lyrics by Linkin Park describe exactly how I feel: I've become so numb I can't feel you thereI've become so tired so much more aware I'm becoming this, all I want to do Is be more like me and be less like you + Shinigami updated @ Friday, January 07, 2005
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
:: Gah....-_-'
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Sorry I haven't updated in awhile...not like many people will end up reading this anyways...-_-' Well, I went shopping at the mall the other day with the whole family (minus daddy), and mom bought me a keychain that says 'I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my ass.' She also got me a kick-ass necklace (a sword with a ruby and a dragon wrapped around it), a pair of rubber-spiked black and white star earrings, and the cutest pink journal that closes with a magnet flap. It's baby pink (I plan on chasing Lori around with it the next time I get to see her) with a little velvet black purse on the front. I saw it, it reminded me of Kimmy (hugs!), and I had to get it. =^_^= Of course, I needed a lamp in my room, and mom took just me shopping today (for the first round, anyways...because my siblings are so insistant on getting something from a store every fucking day) and got me 9 Prismacolor markers. *hugs her markers* They are about $5 a piece (special import from Japan =^_^=) and are the absolute bestest!! (Yes, be in awe of my screwed-up English!!! *evil laughter*). The bad thing about my day (besides the afternoon part when my dad took forever in letting my mom get off the internet so we could go shopping) was when I discovered that my new metallic silver and gold markers (altogether $12 wasted!) didn't work!!! Because you can test marker shades on the wall in an art store, the two I happened to pick out were completely dried out!! *runs around, stabbing the people who deprived her of two beautiful markers* ARGH!! Anyways, we're going to return them tomorrow (thank G-d I actually saved the reciept!) and hopefully get my lamp...I need light...just for drawing, mind you, lol. Well, I'm gonna run...gots to finish writing in my papered journal and get some coloring done on my Sailor Neptune sketch...if you wanna see it, go in the links section of this diary and look for my deviantART gallery!!+ Shinigami updated @ Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
:: Tomorrow is payday and I'm waiting for the last episode of WHR....-_-'
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-_-' Am very relieved that I got to talk to Jenna this evening, even if it was only a few lines here and there. Was very paranoid...*shakes head* *yawns* These last few days have been a complete and total drag. I set my alarm every night before I go to bed at 6:30. Of course, I wake up with the alarm, but I have to drag myself out of bed to shut it up, then I drag myself back to bed and pass right back out. I usually have to wake up to my grandmother coming in the room, bitching about something...very irritating. -_-' Don't get me wrong, I love the woman dearly...but the way she puts down my carrer goals is so...almost hurtful, lol. She wants me to get out and see the world, possibly even get a job and complete my education, but when I bring up that I want to try out being a doctor, she tells me to set realistic goals. *sigh* And she's right on that one...we don't have that kind of money for 8 years of college that I'll probably end up getting so depressed and stressed out that I end up quitting. -_-' I could go for being a nurse...that'd be fine. -_-' Although my true passion is art...I want to be a manga artist, but I suck at that kind of thing and I don't have a lot of practice in that department...just take a look at my dA gallery, lol. Several people like it and all, but it's just not good enough. *sniffles* Ah well...I see more practice is in order... *yawns* Anyways... I'm just here on the computer, typing yet another boring-ass entry while waiting for what I think is the last episode of Witch Hunter Robin. -_-' I dunno...the last episode might be next Wednesday...I dunno anymore, lol. Adult Swim is confusing that way sometimes. But I love them to death anyways. *hugs Adult Swim* *shakes fist* Amon, you'd better smooch Robin before I get Nagira to do it!! And believe me, that won't take much convincing on my part!! >.< *clears throat* Ahem...anyways... Yeah...tomorrow is payday, and I'm in serious need of more art supplies. Sadly, you can never have too many art supplies. I need a small, cheap lamp (around $10) so I can draw and study at night, a few more Prismacolor markers for up-coming art projects, and a pair of slippers. -_-' Yeah...I need slippers for around the house, damnit. >.<>Rurouni Kenshin, the 2nd volume of Magic Knight Rayearth, and maybe the 1st and 2nd volumes of Ragnarok...*shrugs* I dunno... But unlike my siblings, I'm not spoiled. I know how to save money up and spend it wisely, thank you. *yawns again* Well, I'm going to bed now...I need to wake up at a decent hour to finish my room and check out/re-new some more library books...+ Shinigami updated @ Wednesday, December 29, 2004
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PROFILE
Name - Krissy Age - 17 Birthday - 6.19.87 Marital Status - Taken Location - U.S.A Likes - anime, manga, shopping, drawing Dislikes - homophobes, bugs, preps,
My Friends
::|Jenna|:: ::|Lori|:: ::|Kimmy|:: ::|Alex|::
My Places
|My deviantART Gallery| |My Anime RPG Board| |The Shatomlic Amazons|
Quote of the Week
[["I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my ass."]]
HISTORY
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
CREDITS
Blogger Blogskins Vanilla-Dreams __________________ |